Now transferred to the Film Blog and updated here's an update of all my favourite films from 2008.
25. High School Musical 3: Senior Year
A fitting finale for the gang of East High, if film number one was about beginnings, and film two was about negative influences, then film three is about the future. The fact that this was the first film to be shown in cinemas, demosntrates how popular this franchise has become and the songs are as good as ever with added poignance as this is the last time we will see Troy, Gabriella, Ryan etc. However it looks like the legacy will continue all be it with a new class. Go Wildcats!
24. Tropic Thunder
After 2007's rise of the Apatow brigade in Knocked Up and Superbad, 2008 saw the some suffer with a string of average films such as Walk Hard, Drillbit Taylor and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Thanks then for Tropic Thunder which is an excellent film spoof in which five actors are put in the Vienetamese jungle by their struggling director in order for them to finish the film. The three main performances vary Jack Black's drug-addled comedian character struggles to be likeable, Ben Stiller plays his usual dumb-sterotype as the action star but Robert Downey Jr. sparkles as Australian actor Kirk Lazarus who underwent surgery to play the black colonel of the troop and stays in character most of the time. Stiller's script has more misses than hits and thankfully the supporting cast get most of the laughs whether its Nick Nolte's war veteran, Danny McBride's effects surpervisor, Matthew McConaghey's agent or best of all Tom Cruise giving his best performance in years as the film's foul-mouthed producer. A good comedy which is bound to sell well on DVD.
23. Man on Wire
A superb documentary following the attempts of a Frenchman to tightrope walk between the Twin Towers. Narrated by people who were involved in the stunt as well as containing pictures and videos of the events preceding and following the walk. Although a times a little slow, this builds into a story of courage, persevence and sheer luck. One to watch.
22. In Search of a Midnight Kiss
A surprise entry for this black and white indie comedy which sees a down-on-his-luck aspiring screenwriter looking for love on the internet in time for a Midnight Kiss on New Year's Eve. The unknown cast do a wonderful job with an utterly charming script which draws particularly on Richard Linklater's Before Sunrise/Sunset series. And any film which ends with a sing-a-long of The Scorpions' Wind of Change has surely got to be in the Top 10.
21. Iron Man
A lot of the time this latest comic-book adaptation relies on Downey Jr's cocksure performance alone to push the story along. However that seems to be enough as Sebastian Stark he delivers the somewhat comic script with ease. For a comic book adaptation there's not a lot of soul-searching which serves it well in a way allowing us to concetrate on the action and the characters. Ample support is provided by a bald Jeff Bridges and an actually fairly good Gwyneth Paltrow as the bizzarely named Pepper Potts. Although the inevitable sequel will have more depth, this was certainly one of the best films of the summer.
20. The Visitor
Tom McCarthy took audiences by surprise in 2004 with his low-key debut The Station Agent which won a BAFTA for its screenplay. After four years and a role in the final series of The Wire, McCarthy returned to write and direct his second feature about a college professor who is forced into returning to his rented New York apartment for the first time since his wife died in order to attend a confrence. He then finds two illegal immigrants squatting there and decides to let them keep living their and bonds with both of them. The film has a lot to say about immigration but at its heart is a film about love, loss and new beginnings. The central performance by Richard Jenkins rightly earned an Oscar nomination and the whole thing is filled with warmth, wit and beautiful music.
19. The Wackness
Next up is this sweet film set during the hot New York summer of 1994 it sees Josh Peck as high-school loser and pot dealer Luke Shapiro who forms a relationship with one of his clients a therapist played surprisingly well by Sir Ben Kingsley. Shapiro ends up falling in love with the therapists step-daughter and they begin an interesting relationship over the summer. Filled with inner-turmoil, a great relationship between Kingsley and Peck and a 1994 hip-hop soundtrack, The Wackness is a likeable yarn with a good script and if weren't for Kingsley making out with one of the Olsen twins it may have figured even higher in the list.
18. The Savages
The first of two Philip Seymour Hoffman performances in this list sees him star alongside an Oscar nominated Laura Linney as two siblings forced together as they search for a home for their father who is suffering from dementia. The darkly comic script brings out the best from both its leads as well as Philip Boscoe as the father. The trick of this film is that it makes two vain unlikeable characters seem very likeable. There's a nice comedy dog in there as well.
17. Son of Rambow
A great British Comedy with two fantastic young leads in this story of a boy whose raised in a religious community and not allowed to watch T.V. being exposed to Rambo: First Blood by a rebellious classmate and the two then making a film together. The eighties flashback allows the soundtrack to be as weird and wonderful as possible and although there is a needless subplot involving a French exchange student this is still funny and charming with a crowd-pleasing ending.
16. Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
Draws on shades of Tarrantino's Jackie Brown and mixes a bit of Shakesperian tragedy into the story, this film involves two brothers who try and plot the perfect crime in the roberry of their parent's jewellry store. The structure of the film doesn't follow a linear narrative so more of the story is explained as the film progresses. A quartet of brilliant performances from Ethan Hawke and Philip Seymour Hoffman as the brothers, Marissa Tomei as Hoffman's wife and Hawke's mistress and best of all Albert Finney as the boy's father whose final tragic scene makes the film.
15. The Fall
For those who say that films like The Princess Bride or Time Bandits don't exist any more should check out this little seen fantasy film. It sees a Hollywood stuntman and a young orange picker staying at the same hopsital in the 1920s. Roy the stuntman starts to tell the young girl a tale which comes to life through her fantasies. However the story is just a ruse for Roy to try and commit suicide something that the young girl is unaware. The mixture of fantasy and the very real subjects makes this an interesting watch and the visuals are truly fascinating. This is worth watching just because you won't see anything else like this for a long time.
14. Persepolis
A French animated film about an Iranian girl growing up during the conflict years of the 1970s, this follows her journey from Iran to Europe and back again, narrated by Catherine Deneuve and featuring the voices among others of Sean Penn and Iggy Pop this included a lot of gravitas as well a many comic moments. As this film is animated a lot of the scenes are reinforced and there's less limitations on what can be achieved with animation like their may be if this was a live action film. A joy to watch from beginning to end.
13. No Country for Old Men
2008's Best Picture winner didn't resonate as well with me as it did others, I found it slow and laboured at times with an ambigous ending that didn't really work for me. Saying that though there were enough superb set pieces and a well-written script to keep me going and make this one of the top 10 films of the year. Also Javier Barderm's Oscar winning performance as well as the likes of Woody Harrelson and Tommy Lee Jones in the cast meant this one is definitely a Coen classic.
12. The Dark Knight
Most people's film of the year, didn't make my Top 10. Nothing wrong with this film I do believe its excellent if not a little over-hyped. From the bank heist at the beginning to the final showdown at the end, Nolan's direction and script keep us on the edge of our seat. Bale's Batman is as good as he was in the last one however inevitably its Heath Ledger's Joker that steals the show. There is also fine support from Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman and Aaron Eckhart. But the real star is the Gotham City backdrop which provides the bleak and cold setting for this tale of crime and revenge. A cut above your usual superhero movie and the best Batman film to date.
11. The Diving Bell and The Butterfly
A heart-warming and ingeniously well-made French film about the accident that saw the ed itor of Vogue magazine completely paralysed and unable to communicate apart from his left eye. Using this eye he was able to narrate his autobiography to the nurses and ordelies and eventually have it published. The storytelling and acting are both superb and even if at times the lead's self pity is a bit too much to handle, that is quickly forgotten. There is also some sumptuos cinematography to enjoy.
10. 4 Months, 3 Days and 2 Weeks
Although a Romanian film about backstreet abortions doesn't seem to be a very good way to start the top 10 this superbly captivating and realistic drama is a great example of artistic film-making. The story concerns two friends, one of whom is pregnant and wishes to have an abortion before it is too late. Because abortions were illegal in Romania at the time the film was made everything has to be done under the radar. However things start to go wrong when the other girl makes the plans and for a minute it looks like the abortion might not happen. It seems wrong to apply peril to a subject as sensitive as abortions but it makes the film all the more watchable. It also is very set on applying the situation to the characters and not really exploring why abortions have been made illegal or the relgious and moral viewpoints about what the two girls are doing. At the end of the day this is a film about too close friends and it is a testament to the director that he is able to pull that off.
9. In Bruges
A film that can suddenly turn from Colin Farrell's drunken Irish comic turn, into serious drama deserves a place in this film as Farrell and Brendan Gleason play two Irish hitmen forced to wait in Bruges, Belgium following a job gone wrong. Gleason gives an outstanding performance as the veteran hitman while Farrell's performance is more out-and-out comedic criticising the entire cit of Bruges. While Ralph Fiennes' cockney accent is a bit strong he also impresses as the boss of the two hitmen and this film is at its best when it lets its actors get free reign over these complex multi-dimensional characters. And the drab setting of Bruges also deserves a mention as it provides an adequate background for the action to take place.
8. Changeling
Every year Clint Eastwood seems to direct a different type of picture that is both well-made and draws on an interesting subject matter last year it was the duel war films - Flags of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima and this year it was the 1920s set Changeling. The film is seemingly about mother who loses her son but it spirals into a conspiracy drama as the son who is returned to her isn't her son at all. The story goes into two different areas, one is about exposing the corruption in the LAPD and the other is looking at what has actually happened to her son. Eastwood's attention to detail is astounding and the period sets and costumes are top-notch as is the script. Also worth a mention is the great lead performance by Angelina Jolie who is a revelation as the devastated mother. All in all a brilliant well-crafted film and yet another triumph for Eastwood.
7. The Orphanage
After 2006's Pan's Labyrnith, Guillemero Del Toro has bought us an equally visually spectacular film however this time he is simply presenting. The Orpanage is a story of a couple and their young son who move to a house by the sea which used to be the orphanage where the mother lived. Of course strange things keep happening, an odd woman visits the couple and the son disappears. When horror films today are usually trashy American slasher films or brutal films from Eastern Asia its great to see a film rely on real shocks and horror than simply gruesome behaviour. This is an incredibly well shot and well played horror film that had me on the edge of my seat fro beginning to end.
6. Lars and the Real Girl
Ryan Gosling cements his role as a hot young star with this indie black comedy as he plays smalltown boy Lars who begins a relationship with a lifesize doll. However this is not Mannequin 2 and instead studies the psyche of Lars who actually believes his doll to be quite real. Lars' anguish is portrayed brilliantly by Gosling however the small-town charm and warmth provided by the supporting cast also makes the film and the doll herself deserves a mention for being one of the most origninal romantic leads of the year.
5. Waltz With Bashir
Similar to Persepolis, this film is a cartoon but deals with extremly emotional and sensitive issues. In this case it is of a former soldier who can't remember anything about the Lebanon conflict so has to meet up with former colleagues as well as a reporter who were all in Beiruit at the time to give their recounts of the event. Using real interview footage as most of the narrative track this almost like a realist animation by using the interviews conducted and turning them into a visually stunning film. The colours used are stark and brutal and the music is incredibly effective and at the end you see beyond the animation and realise how brutal things were for the army during that particular war.
4. Juno
A comedy written by an ex-stripper and starring a bit part player from X-Men 3 and the guy out of Arrested Development shouldn't have worked. Luckily Juno, the story of a quirky high school girl who gets pregnant, worked so well it won Diablo Cody the original screenplay award and cememnted Ellen Page as a star. The film is as good as it was when I first watched it and Cody's words come out of Page's mouth so well its like the two were joined as one. A good supporting cast featuring Jason Bateman, JK Simmons, Alison Janney and Jennifer Garner in one of her finest film roles to date meant this was truly an ensemble piece. It also in my opinion had the best soundtrack of the year moulding together Belle and Sebastian, The Kinks, Sonic Youth and Moldy Peaches, with Kimya Dawson of the latter band providing some original music as well.
3. I've Loved You So Long
I've Loved You So Long is really an 'acting film', there are no real massive plot points and there isn't any exreme filming. What you get though is a character piece about a woman who is released from jail and goes to stay with her sister. Bit by bit the revelations come thick and fast what did she do and why did she do it. The lead performance by Kristen Scott Thomas, taking the lead in a French film for the first time, is truly stunning and deserved a lot more credit than it was given. The subtle cinematography is also well used to capture character's emotions and thoughts and overall this is just a beautiful little film that needs to be seen by a lot more people.
2. Wall-E
After the distinctly average Ratatouille, Pixar fought back with this delightful animation which boldly features fourty minutes of no dialogue. This purely visual experience sees an Earth that has been completely demolished by rubbish and the rubbish is being picked up robots one such being Wall-E, he then meets another robot Eve and falls in love. Although Pixar reverts to type by having more dialogue in the third part, Wall-E still features enough laughs and heart to be Pixar's best since Finding Nemo. And those who don't tear up during the final scenes have hearts of stone.
1. There Will Be Blood
I drink your Milshake, I Drink it Down. Daniel Day-Lewis gives a massively large and epic performance in this Oil-Soaked epic of mid-western American in the 1920s. Paul Thomas Anderson's direction and a top-class script added to the action and the sinsiter soundtrack and sweeping cinematography made this the film of the year and was cruely denied an oscar for Best Picture, although there was a win for Day-Lewis. Paul Dano also provided good support as twin brothers Paul and Eli Sunday. The final scene involving a Bowling Alley is one of the most darkly comic things ever comitted to film.
So overall a good year for cinema but we look forward to 2009.
Wednesday 31 December 2008
Wednesday 27 February 2008
2nd Annual Oscar Blog
Here it is after a week's careful preperation (Okay I couldn't be bothered to watch the whole thing back again).
Imagine the scene me and Steve sitting down two hours of red carpert footage but what channel to choose, Sky of course had the rights to the British Oscar Coverage but it was presented by Kate Thornton (aaah!!), so I decided to introduce Steve to the wonders of Ryan Seacrest and Guilana on E! I missed out the first ten minutes but there were no celebrity interviews just a talk backstage with Jon Stewart where he talked about the show and said the C-Word. So here it is The full Oscars night from start to finish
11:11 - Guilana is talking to the weird Asisan fashion lady who wants to flash her legs a lot.
11:13 - Decide to flick over from fashion lady and check out Sky One who seem to be showing a Video Package of previous Oscar ceremonies
11:20 - Still no celebrties on either channel so Ryan Seacrest decides to share his bag of tricks with us, during this segment we can see Seacrest and Thornton are standing next to each other
11:22 - As Guilana talks to Ken Baker (not Kenny Baker even though I thought R2D2 would've been awesome on the red capert) the gossip guy about Britney and Angelina not being invited to The Oscars because they weren't nominated or big enough, Seacrest contradicts this by interviewing Heidi Klum and Seal who seem to be on every red carpert. Seacrest tries to get Klum out of her dress for charity but a big cheer is heard as Clooney appears on the carpert with Sarah Larson who seems to have made her dress out of curtains.
11:29 - Steve despairs as I constantly flick the channels and miss half of Seacrest's interview with obscure supporting actress nominee Amy Ryan who when we turn over is talking about Ben Affleck being an actor's director how sickening.
11:31 - Its just nice to point out at this point that for some unknown reason the red carpert footage on E! is being sponsored by the Greek Tourist Board.
11:32 - While E! is on the break we flick to Sky One who are now interviewing Heidi and Seal but technical difficulties mean that the screen blacks out halfway through and Sky switches a video package on about the best supporting actress nominees.
11:36 - No-one is being interviewed on either channel, Seacrest points out the fact that the red carpert is being covered by tarps but the journalists are still getting wet.
11:38 - Tom Wikinson admits to being a big Friends fan and getting tongue-tied around Lisa Kudrow. Seacrest makes a big faux pas when he calls the English accent pretentious.
11:40 - Turn to Sky another video package
11:44 - It seems while Sky is airing a video package the British cameraman is in Ryan Seacrest's crotch and when he has a go, Kate Thornton pipes in but Seacrest owns her.
11:45 - Clooney is really smug about his relationship with the slightly Stepford-esque Sarah Larson and then about his chances for Michael Clayton.
11:47 - The great and mighty Jason Bateman is interviewed he and Seacrest mock Clooney's hair he is tight-lipped about the Arrested Development film but I'm thinking yes its going ahead.
11:49 - A slow time once again as the E! girls talk about Anne Hathaway's poreclain skin and Sky are showing yet another VT package.
11:50 - E! air quite a humorous segment where Seacrest shows us what some actor's would look like if they were given the hairstyle that Javier Bardem sports in No Country for Old Men while it doesn't work on Daniel Day-Lewis it kind of does on Helen Mirrem.
11:52 - Kate Thornton on Sky One bumbles her interview with Tom Wilkinson saying something about Michael Clayton's production that blatantly wasn't true, she seems to be making it up as she goes along.
11:54 - Meanwhile over on E!, Anne Hathaway and her poreclain skin are being interviewed by Seacrest the funniest moment her is when Seacrest can't seem to pronounce Hathaway's date's Spanish name.
11:56 - Irish Atonement sprog Saiorse Ronan is up next she is all in green and looks like a junior leprechaun. At only thirteen she is very gracious and glad to be on the red carpert with her parents. Seacrest tries to ask her what would be a good thing to do to wind James McAvoy up but she doesn't think there is.
11:59 - As E! goes to the break, Sky are still showing VT's
12:00 - Steve Carrell is interviewed as Seacrest tells a story about seeing Carrell in a shop this story bored me silly but they soon got to some comedy when Seacrest claimed it was a green red carpert and they were recycling questions. He asked Carell Angelina Jolie's question about what it was like waking up to Brad Pitt every morning and then Ellen Page's question of what it was like to play pregnant. I can assure you this was very witty.
12:04 - Seacrest tries to embaress the perfectly turned out Patrick Dempsey by showing him his 'Enchanted' doll. I'm wondering who the blue haired man is walking up and down the carpert.
12:05 - Seacrest claims the British producer keeps asking him who the stars are, doesn't suprise me that Sky and Kate Thornton haven't done any research.
12:06 - John Travolta's haircut makes him look like one of the aliens from Galaxy Quest, lets hope he's not thinking of making Battlefield Earth 2.
12:07 - The Rock is up next, Seacrest reads him a viewer question which is obviously a plant about who is hero was growing up and in the suck-up Hollywood mind of The Rock the correct answer is Clint Eastwood.
12:08 - James McAvoy and Anne Marie Duff talk about stealing from the BAFTA after-party and wanting to go to Prince's aftershow party. The split screen reveals Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen with two beautiful women on their arms, they are now famous enough to be able to use the top class Escort services obviously (only kidding).
12:10 - Seacrest does more recycling as he shows Amy Adams her Enchanted doll she also has a completely useless mesh hand bag.
12:18 - In probably the best red carpert moment Seacrest is trying to interview Jennifer Garner and Laura Linney but is upstaged by an obviously intoxicated or just plain mental Gary Busey. Busey kind of half attacks Garner before Linney ferries her off.
12:20 - Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill talk about Rogen's bum
12:22 - Miley Cyrus daughter of Billy Ray who is apparently a massive child star in her own right is on the red carpert with her mum who does the whole she's a very grounded teenager routine. Yeah right.
12:24 - For some reason over on Sky One Kate Thornton seems to want to intimidate Amy Adams over her upcoming performance.
12:27 - On E! Keri Russell is next up although she is presenting a song she is apparently not singing herself she may rap. A random segment called Red Carpert Roulette she is then asked by a small child whether he really needs to learn math.
12:33 - Seacrest and Helen Mirrem run over the awards she won last year, the naked man (Oscar), the creepy mask (BAFTA) and the naked man with the creepy mask (SAG). She says she wonders what they get up to at night.
12:34- Jessica Alba and her partner Cash are interviewed by Seacrest about her pregnancy and he asks a rather intrusive question about whether she will breast feed or not.
12:36 - Cameron Diaz seems to have come as a pink flump and admits she didn't get Drew Barrymore anything for her birthday. The tight cow.
12:38 - Sky One show no originality by presenting Helen Mirrem with one of those tacky union jack flags, I'm sure they did that last year.
12:41 - Tilda Swinton who has the most questionable dress of the evening comes of as very grounded and cool and she is someone who doesn't fawn over the might of George Clooney.
12:44 - Finally Kate Thornton is interviewing someone that Seacrest hasn't already its just a shame that Faye Dunaway hasn't really done anything to be interviewed about.
12:51 - Casey Affleck's interview with Seacrest is a little dull so I amuse myself by looking at old Calista Flockhart has become since hooking up with Harrison Ford.
12:54 - Viggo Mortenson gets the 'ah sweet' vote of the night as he's turned up with his niece as his date.
12:58 - The final interview is with Katherine Heigl of all people who is always husbandless on these red carpert events and for some reason just wants to talk about New Years. I am taking a pizza out of the oven at this stage so don't care very much.
1:03 - Claudia Winkleman introduces us to Sky's coverage of the event with guess what yet another VT this time about The Oscars in general.
1:06 - I really like Winkleman but she struggles with the crap panel that Sky lumber her with every year and this year is no exception. It starts with Feminist Film Critic Hilary Oliver who looks like she could be Rula Lenska's Irish Cousin, then 'fashion expert' Hannah Sandling and finally the smuggest comedian of them all, Robin 'I know Ricky Gervais' Ince. Winkleman mainly focuses on Sandling's thoughts on the red carpert dresses she describes Diablo Cody as stripper chic and references Dita Von Teese, she then disses Cameron Diaz's dress as I have just done and finally Tilda Swinton in what she described as a 'bin bag'. Ince then tries to stand up for Swinton giving his first crap joke of many during the night this one being about lip gloss fairies. While I don't think Swinton's dress did her any favours it certainly made her standout from the crowd. If anyone's interested I think the best dressed women were - Jennifer Hudson, Amy Adams, Ellen Page, Marion Cottilard and Keri Russell.
1:10 - For some reason there's more lazy shots of the red carpert.
1:15 - Now there's a news like segment about the writer's strike
1:16 - Sandling has gone and in her place is crap film critic Mark Ecclestone who wasn't considered good enough even to front a Channel Five film show. He tries to look really smart talking about the writer's strike figures but in the end looks like a prat when he references the There Will be Blood director as Philip Thomas Anderson.
1:17 - Hilary Oliver complains that most of the good films only came out in the autumn and early this year. She doesn't seem to grasp the fact that studio's realease films that they think will do well at The Oscars closer to Oscar time.
1:21 - Ince pretends to know about how the academy works.
1:28 - There is a freaky moment in which Little Miss Sunshine is on Sky and then we flip back and there's an advert for Oscar Winner's Season with the exact same moment from LMS that we've just ssen.
1:30 - The sky panel discuss Jon Stewart's hosting abilities, Robin Inces seems to want Steve Martin back and then does a horrendous Billy Crystal impression, there's a Small VT of last year's Oscars accompanied by an orchestral version of that Take That song from Stardust.
1:31 - We are handed over to The Kodak Theatre, and I quickly yell to Steve who is in the loo that he'll miss the start but the opening is just loads of film moments on a big road.
1:33 - Jon Stewart appears for his opening gambit here are some of his choice gags:
(on the fact that this is the union between the writers and studios once again) "Welcome to the make-up sex"
"Its great to celebrate this years Psychopathic Killer Movies, No Country for Old Men, Sweeney Todd, There Will be Blood - Does this town need a hug? Thank God for teenage pregnancy."
"Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men comprised the bloodthirstiness of Hannibal Lecter with Dorothy Hammil's wedge cut."
"Away from Her is about a woman who forgets her husband - Hilary Clinton Called it the feel-good film of the year."
(On Atonement) "Never has one film captured the passion and raw sexuality of Yum Kippur."
"Even Norbit is nominated tonight which is excellent too often the academy overlooks films that aren't good."
"Michael Clayton is about 100 minutes long but because its about lawyers you can just round that up to two hours."
"Dennis Hopper is here, I'm just saying this so Dennis knows where he is."
"Diablo Cody was an exotic dancer and is now an oscar-nominated screenwriter - enjoy the pay cut."
"Oscar is now 80 so that makes him front-runner in for the Republican leadership campaign."
"Usually when you see a Woman or a Black Man as president an asterioid is about to hit the statue of liberty."
Stewart then jokes about how Barac Obama has overcome a lot because of his name his Barac Hussein Obama, and its just like the 1944 presidential campaign of Gaydolf Titler. A lot of people laugh but the camera pans to Marion Cotilard who doesn't look amused.
1:42 - We get to the first award of the evening as Jennifer Garner presents best Costume Design to Alexandra Byrne who worked on Elizabeth: The Golden Age her speech is nice and short and also good to note that the first award of the night goes to a Brit.
1:44 - The first of many reminiscences by former Oscar winners on there winning nights, the first is Babs Stresissand on her 'Hello Gorgeous' expetance speech.
1:46 - Robin Ince says he misses the cheesy nature of the old host and is told by Oliver and Ecclestone that cheesy is out he is upset and goes to phone Ricky Gervais.
1:47 - George Clooney has the most pointless job of the night to introduce Oscar's tribute to itself.
1:51 - The camera goes back to Jon Stewart who is watching Lawrence of Arabia on an I-Phone and flips it over to watch it in widescreen.
1:52 - Stewart introduces the funniest person he knows and she is being joined by Steve Carrell, Carrell comes out with Anne Hathaway and tells Jon that he never seases to amaze him over his constant need for attention. Carrell then starts on a spiel announcing the documentary feature nominees but is told by Hathaway that they're presenting animated feature he basically goes into The Office mode by wanting to throw up and feeling upset.
1:55 - I note that this is the first year since the animated category began that characters from the films aren't computer animated onto seats that might be because its quite hard to animated a French black and white Iranian girl onto a seat (only people who've seen Perspolis will get that reference). Brad Bird wins for Ratatouille and runs over and gets cut off by the orchestra.
1:57 - Katherine Heigl presents best Make-Up to La Vie en Rose, Norbit was robbed! The second Brit shares the award with a Frenchman.
2:00 - Jon Stewart goes to sing Alan Menken's Happy Working Song from Enchanted but then realises Amy Adams is there to sing it. Adams is at a loss as she is obviously meant to be singing to creatures or something but she has neither extras or a set and because of this the whole song seems a bit sill.
2:02 - The second of the Oscar reminiscences comes courtesy of the Zeta-Jones-Douglases.
2:07 - Jon Stewart says if you wonder what they do during the ad breaks they sit around and make catty remarks about what we're wearing. And then introduces The Rock saying that wrestling is also how Ellen Page got started if you turn your back on her she'll hit you with a folding chair, the camera however doesn't flick to Page maybe she was in the loo. The Rock then is quite entertaining in his opening spiel talking about how he though the face melting scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark was very real.
2:09 - The Golden Compass wins Best Visual Effects and two of the four men who collect the award are Brits so so far the Brits have four Oscars.
2:10 - Cate Blanchett presents the award for Art Direction and Production Design to two Spaniards who between them have been nominated 16 times and one once for The Aviator, so she must have met them before.
2:13 - Stewart takes the piss out of Cate Blanchett saying that she played the pitbull in No Country for Old Men and that he's being played by Blanchett right now.
2:14 - The first of many 'who's won this award before' montage introduces us to Best Supporting Actor, the disturbing thing is that the image they end on is of Snow Dogs and Boat Trip star Cuba Gooding Jr. winning his Oscar, I thought they were trying to erase that memory.
2:16 - Jennifer Hudson comes out to present and stumbles over the autocue.
2:19 - The second Spaniard win in a row as Javier Bardem rightly wins for No Country for Old Men the last segment of his speech is all in Spanish.
2:21 - But as we come back to the Sky studio, Hilary Oliver fancies herself a Spanish translator as she tells us what Bardem meant.
2:22 - Jon Stewart's translation is funnier - "He told his mother where the library was."
2:23 - Stewart then gives us a look at what Oscar would've been like if the writer's strike had continued. So they had Oscar's tribute to Binoculars and Periscopes - for some reason me and Steve find this hilarious. This is followed by Oscar's tribute to Bad Dreams.
2:24 - Keri Russell lied to us she didn't rap. But she did introduce the Gospel number from her film August Rush called Raise it Up. The main part of the song is sung by eleven year old Jemia Simone Nash. Unlike Amy Adams they have a set complete with church pews and extras.
2:28 - Stewart comes out and tells us you knew that song was good as Hal Holbrook was cabbage patching in the aisle. Holbrook blantantly didn't get that joke he looked like he was falling asleep now his category has been announced.
2:30 - Owen Wilson presents Short Live Action Film to The Mozart of Pickpockets (which I didn't have on my ballot) the French guy does struggle with his speech.
2:31 - Bee Movie bee shows a montage of bees in films, we've had enough comedy montages but at least this includes a clip from Rushmore. The Best Animated Short goes to Peter and The Wolf - More Brit wins!!!
2:34 - The Best Supporting Actress Montage begins - with such stars as Mercedes Reuhl, Marcia Gay Harden and Mira Sorvino among the list this is prestigious company.
2:38 - Alan Arkin obviously refused to do any spiel before announcing the winner of Supporting Actress. This is the biggest shock of the night (like Arkin's was last year) as Blanchett's Bob Dylan is passed over in favour of Tilda Swinton's cold-hearted lawyer in Michael Clayton. As well as being another Brit win, Swinton's speech is one of the best as she holds the Oscar and says happy Birthday man. She also quips about Clooney wearing the Batman and Robin suit during filming.
2:44 - Jessica Alba had obviously drawn the short straw and had to attend what looks like the most tedious thing alive - The Science and Technology Academy Awards where all the nerds attend they don't let them mix with the stars you know.
2:45 - Jon Stewart has been looking at the Alba and Blanchett both being pregnant and has his tally at two but as Jack Nicholson's there he's going to retally at the end of the night.
2:46 - The Broody and handsome duo (according to Stewart) of Josh 'No Country for Old Men' Brolin and James 'Shameless' McAvoy as they run through some quotes from adapted screenplays, Brolin apologises for doing a crap Nicholson impression and at this point I'm sure Nicholson is sitting next to Diablo Cody - Jack needs to be near a former stripper obviously.
2:48 - The Coen Brothers get the first award to go soley to Americans since Brad Bird. Ethan is slightly tongue-tied so Joel does all the talking.
2:49 - The president of the Oscars does a really bad video about how the Oscars votes are tallied which is incredibly boring. And aftewards even Jon Stewart takes the piss.
2:53 - Miley Cyrus introduces the second song from Enchanted called 'That's How You Know' sung by the brilliant and goregous Kristin Chenowoth (not sure if she was in the film), Amy Adams must be furious as there's plenty of props and a ton of extras in this song.
3:00 - Stewart notices that he left Nicole Kidman out of the list of pregnant ladies and then did and the baby goes to - Angelina Jolie. He quips that Jolie isn't there because its hard to get 17 babysitters on Oscar Night.
3:02 - Stewart introduces Dami Judi Dench and Halle Berry, Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill come out and do the funniest skit of the night which is obviously in place of a Will Ferrell/Jack Black song. Hill and Rogen argue about which should be Berry and which should be Dench. While this is going on they hand out the sound editing award to The Bourne Ultimatum.
3:05 - Hill and Rogen argue some more as The Bourne Ultimatum gets the Sound Mixing award as well, three American wins on the trot. I have to point out here that because The Bourne Ultimatum won British sound mixer Kevin O'Connol has been passed over for his 20th Oscar (this time for Transformers) there needs to be some kind of Myspace/Facebook group to get O'Connol the Oscar in 2009.
3:08 - The best actress montage features highlights such as deaf Marlee Matin and the stupidly dressed Cher collecting their awards.
3:10 - Forrest Whittaker goes on for too long before reading out the actress nominees.
3:13 - Air whoops as Marion Cotillard rightly beats Julie Christie et al for this award. In a rather sweet moment she gets Forrest to hold her for a bit longer before she says her piece in which she just thanks everyone but doesn't burst into full tears.
3:16 - Back in the Sky studio where Hilary 'I'm a feminist don't you know' Oliver is going on about how Cotilard was a strong female presence in that film.
3:18 - Jon Stewart is caught playing WII tennis with Jemia Simone Nash from the August Rush song, she then runs off saying good game Mr. John (I just thought that sounded slightly racist)
3:19 - Colin Farrell almost cripples himself slipping up on something while approaching the song nominees podium (on the other side to the normal podium), Farrell just has to mention 'Once' once and people start to clap. Glen Hansard and Marketa Iglova then perform 'Falling Slowly' to an enraptured audience.
3:22 - Nicholson comes on and says I love the Movies before showing a montage of EVERY best picture winner from the last 80 years. I'm sure I saw this last year on You Tube.
3:28 - The Americans are winning the awards once again as Best Editing goes to The Bourne Ultimatum who get the Techinical award hat trick.
3:31 - I go and take the second pizza out of the oven as the special award goes to so called 'legendary' Robert Boyle who was the production designer on a lot of Hitchcock films like North by Northwest and The Birds as well as Private Benjamin, The Shootist, Dragnet, The Thomas Crown Affair and one of my favourite musicals - How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying. Sure enough he's done good work but at 98 years old he doesn't give the most empassioned speech funnily enough he gets the only standing ovation of the evening.
3:44 - Penelope Cruz presents Best Foreign Film to suprisingly another foreign winner this time the Austrians win the award for the excellent The Counterfeiters.
3:45 - Patrick Dempsey presents the final horribly sappy song from Enchanted by some out of tune dude dressed as a prince at a ball.
3:49 - Travolta almost slips up like Colin Farrell did as he presents the award for best song to the deserved winners Marketa Iglova and Glen Hansard from Once. Hansard gives an empassioned speech but Iglova is cut off before she can say anything. Stewart says of Hansard - he is so arrogant.
3:57 - After the break Stewart rightly brings Iglova back on as she thinks that this is a victory for all independent musicians and gets a good round of applause for this.
3:59 - Cameron Diaz can't say the word cinematography which is bad as she is presenting the award for Best Cinematography. This is another shocker as Roger Deakins who is nominated for No Country and for Jesse James is passed over in favour of Robert Elswit for There Will be Blood.
4:02 - Hilary Swank presents the In Memorium feature as predicted Heath Ledger and Ingmar Bergman feature heavily however one of the most notable emissions is Brad Renfro which is a travesty.
4:07 - Hilary Oliver back in the Sky Studio is sticking up for the women by saying the Diving Bell and The Buttefly should've one best cinematography.
4:08 - Amy Adams presents the best score award and with help from the Orchestra shows how poor films would've been off if John Williams hadn't composed the scores for Jaws and Close Encounters. Oh and the Rocky score was in here for good measure.
4:10 - I don't know if we can claim this one but Italian-Brit Dario Marionelli wins the award for his work on Atonement.
4:11 - Jon Stewart wonders why Tom Hanks is there as he hasn't been nominated tonight.
4:12 - Hanks passes us over to U.S. Soliders in Camp Victory in Baghdad because obviously its above him to announce the winners of Best Documentary Short. The fact that the soliders are doing this is an unintenionally hilarious moment for Steve. Freeheld - a film about a lesbian cop whose dying wins the award I'm annoyed as I didn't have this down on my ballot.
4:17 - Taxi to the Dark Side wins Best Documentary Feature, a film about torture I didn't have this down on my ballot. Usually I don't mind lesbians and torture but tonight they've done me a disservice.
4:19 - What I hope is the last of these silly 'I won an Oscar' memories by Elton John comes on.
4:23 - More money goes in John Williams pocket us the 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' theme tune introduces Harrison Ford who seems to have lost it as he says -Movies are made of Ideas, and pictures and words but this was about orignal screenplay.
4:25 - Nice moment as Diablo Cody comes towards the stage after winning the screenplay award she high fives Ellen Page.
4:29 - The Best Actor montage now appears
4:31 - Helen Mirrem seems to have swallowed a thesaurus as she spouts a load of adjectives about the best actor nominees.
4:34 - Daniel Day-Lewis wins the award and bows to Mirrem telling the crowd thats as near as he'll ever come to being knighted. He thanks everyone by saying - Thank you Paul.
4:40 - The last of these tedious montages on directors starts with a funny two-hander between the late great Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon.
4:42 - Marty Scorsese presents the second award of the night to The Coen Brothers
4:45 - For the second time in two years the winners of the Best Picture award are in the wings when there film is announced. No Country for Old Men rightly scoops the prize.
4:48 - Stewart thanks us for our time.
4:51 - More gabbing as the panel from hell slag off There Will be Blood and Juno, and applaud the very odd ending of No Country for Old Men.
4:59 - Bloody hell there's a break and more talking, Farrell slipping up was Ecclestone's fave moment, while Ince still wants Steve Martin to present (or Ricky Gervais) and the ladies loved Cottilard's acceptance speech.
5:05 - Thank God that's over a montage of the night is shown with Kylie's WOW! played over the top it should be 'I'm tired and I want to go to bed'
By my money this was the most international Oscars, U.S.A/Canada took home three awards for Bourne and No Country respectivley as well as the animated and documentary features and documentary short. With the Cinematography award going to a Yank I think all the awards went to foreigners. Brits were victorious in two of the four acting awards as well as Costume, Make-Up, Animated Short, half of the Visual Effects, kind of the Best Score award and I guess the song for Once (although they were Irish and Czech) with art direction, live action short and foreign film going to other foreigners and of course Best Actress and Supporting Actor my tally is - U.S. and Canada - 10.5 the rest of the world 12.5.
There wasn't very many moments personally I preferred Swinton's speech to Cotillard's and of course Marketa Iglova. Jon Stewart playing the WII was good but I go
Imagine the scene me and Steve sitting down two hours of red carpert footage but what channel to choose, Sky of course had the rights to the British Oscar Coverage but it was presented by Kate Thornton (aaah!!), so I decided to introduce Steve to the wonders of Ryan Seacrest and Guilana on E! I missed out the first ten minutes but there were no celebrity interviews just a talk backstage with Jon Stewart where he talked about the show and said the C-Word. So here it is The full Oscars night from start to finish
11:11 - Guilana is talking to the weird Asisan fashion lady who wants to flash her legs a lot.
11:13 - Decide to flick over from fashion lady and check out Sky One who seem to be showing a Video Package of previous Oscar ceremonies
11:20 - Still no celebrties on either channel so Ryan Seacrest decides to share his bag of tricks with us, during this segment we can see Seacrest and Thornton are standing next to each other
11:22 - As Guilana talks to Ken Baker (not Kenny Baker even though I thought R2D2 would've been awesome on the red capert) the gossip guy about Britney and Angelina not being invited to The Oscars because they weren't nominated or big enough, Seacrest contradicts this by interviewing Heidi Klum and Seal who seem to be on every red carpert. Seacrest tries to get Klum out of her dress for charity but a big cheer is heard as Clooney appears on the carpert with Sarah Larson who seems to have made her dress out of curtains.
11:29 - Steve despairs as I constantly flick the channels and miss half of Seacrest's interview with obscure supporting actress nominee Amy Ryan who when we turn over is talking about Ben Affleck being an actor's director how sickening.
11:31 - Its just nice to point out at this point that for some unknown reason the red carpert footage on E! is being sponsored by the Greek Tourist Board.
11:32 - While E! is on the break we flick to Sky One who are now interviewing Heidi and Seal but technical difficulties mean that the screen blacks out halfway through and Sky switches a video package on about the best supporting actress nominees.
11:36 - No-one is being interviewed on either channel, Seacrest points out the fact that the red carpert is being covered by tarps but the journalists are still getting wet.
11:38 - Tom Wikinson admits to being a big Friends fan and getting tongue-tied around Lisa Kudrow. Seacrest makes a big faux pas when he calls the English accent pretentious.
11:40 - Turn to Sky another video package
11:44 - It seems while Sky is airing a video package the British cameraman is in Ryan Seacrest's crotch and when he has a go, Kate Thornton pipes in but Seacrest owns her.
11:45 - Clooney is really smug about his relationship with the slightly Stepford-esque Sarah Larson and then about his chances for Michael Clayton.
11:47 - The great and mighty Jason Bateman is interviewed he and Seacrest mock Clooney's hair he is tight-lipped about the Arrested Development film but I'm thinking yes its going ahead.
11:49 - A slow time once again as the E! girls talk about Anne Hathaway's poreclain skin and Sky are showing yet another VT package.
11:50 - E! air quite a humorous segment where Seacrest shows us what some actor's would look like if they were given the hairstyle that Javier Bardem sports in No Country for Old Men while it doesn't work on Daniel Day-Lewis it kind of does on Helen Mirrem.
11:52 - Kate Thornton on Sky One bumbles her interview with Tom Wilkinson saying something about Michael Clayton's production that blatantly wasn't true, she seems to be making it up as she goes along.
11:54 - Meanwhile over on E!, Anne Hathaway and her poreclain skin are being interviewed by Seacrest the funniest moment her is when Seacrest can't seem to pronounce Hathaway's date's Spanish name.
11:56 - Irish Atonement sprog Saiorse Ronan is up next she is all in green and looks like a junior leprechaun. At only thirteen she is very gracious and glad to be on the red carpert with her parents. Seacrest tries to ask her what would be a good thing to do to wind James McAvoy up but she doesn't think there is.
11:59 - As E! goes to the break, Sky are still showing VT's
12:00 - Steve Carrell is interviewed as Seacrest tells a story about seeing Carrell in a shop this story bored me silly but they soon got to some comedy when Seacrest claimed it was a green red carpert and they were recycling questions. He asked Carell Angelina Jolie's question about what it was like waking up to Brad Pitt every morning and then Ellen Page's question of what it was like to play pregnant. I can assure you this was very witty.
12:04 - Seacrest tries to embaress the perfectly turned out Patrick Dempsey by showing him his 'Enchanted' doll. I'm wondering who the blue haired man is walking up and down the carpert.
12:05 - Seacrest claims the British producer keeps asking him who the stars are, doesn't suprise me that Sky and Kate Thornton haven't done any research.
12:06 - John Travolta's haircut makes him look like one of the aliens from Galaxy Quest, lets hope he's not thinking of making Battlefield Earth 2.
12:07 - The Rock is up next, Seacrest reads him a viewer question which is obviously a plant about who is hero was growing up and in the suck-up Hollywood mind of The Rock the correct answer is Clint Eastwood.
12:08 - James McAvoy and Anne Marie Duff talk about stealing from the BAFTA after-party and wanting to go to Prince's aftershow party. The split screen reveals Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen with two beautiful women on their arms, they are now famous enough to be able to use the top class Escort services obviously (only kidding).
12:10 - Seacrest does more recycling as he shows Amy Adams her Enchanted doll she also has a completely useless mesh hand bag.
12:18 - In probably the best red carpert moment Seacrest is trying to interview Jennifer Garner and Laura Linney but is upstaged by an obviously intoxicated or just plain mental Gary Busey. Busey kind of half attacks Garner before Linney ferries her off.
12:20 - Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill talk about Rogen's bum
12:22 - Miley Cyrus daughter of Billy Ray who is apparently a massive child star in her own right is on the red carpert with her mum who does the whole she's a very grounded teenager routine. Yeah right.
12:24 - For some reason over on Sky One Kate Thornton seems to want to intimidate Amy Adams over her upcoming performance.
12:27 - On E! Keri Russell is next up although she is presenting a song she is apparently not singing herself she may rap. A random segment called Red Carpert Roulette she is then asked by a small child whether he really needs to learn math.
12:33 - Seacrest and Helen Mirrem run over the awards she won last year, the naked man (Oscar), the creepy mask (BAFTA) and the naked man with the creepy mask (SAG). She says she wonders what they get up to at night.
12:34- Jessica Alba and her partner Cash are interviewed by Seacrest about her pregnancy and he asks a rather intrusive question about whether she will breast feed or not.
12:36 - Cameron Diaz seems to have come as a pink flump and admits she didn't get Drew Barrymore anything for her birthday. The tight cow.
12:38 - Sky One show no originality by presenting Helen Mirrem with one of those tacky union jack flags, I'm sure they did that last year.
12:41 - Tilda Swinton who has the most questionable dress of the evening comes of as very grounded and cool and she is someone who doesn't fawn over the might of George Clooney.
12:44 - Finally Kate Thornton is interviewing someone that Seacrest hasn't already its just a shame that Faye Dunaway hasn't really done anything to be interviewed about.
12:51 - Casey Affleck's interview with Seacrest is a little dull so I amuse myself by looking at old Calista Flockhart has become since hooking up with Harrison Ford.
12:54 - Viggo Mortenson gets the 'ah sweet' vote of the night as he's turned up with his niece as his date.
12:58 - The final interview is with Katherine Heigl of all people who is always husbandless on these red carpert events and for some reason just wants to talk about New Years. I am taking a pizza out of the oven at this stage so don't care very much.
1:03 - Claudia Winkleman introduces us to Sky's coverage of the event with guess what yet another VT this time about The Oscars in general.
1:06 - I really like Winkleman but she struggles with the crap panel that Sky lumber her with every year and this year is no exception. It starts with Feminist Film Critic Hilary Oliver who looks like she could be Rula Lenska's Irish Cousin, then 'fashion expert' Hannah Sandling and finally the smuggest comedian of them all, Robin 'I know Ricky Gervais' Ince. Winkleman mainly focuses on Sandling's thoughts on the red carpert dresses she describes Diablo Cody as stripper chic and references Dita Von Teese, she then disses Cameron Diaz's dress as I have just done and finally Tilda Swinton in what she described as a 'bin bag'. Ince then tries to stand up for Swinton giving his first crap joke of many during the night this one being about lip gloss fairies. While I don't think Swinton's dress did her any favours it certainly made her standout from the crowd. If anyone's interested I think the best dressed women were - Jennifer Hudson, Amy Adams, Ellen Page, Marion Cottilard and Keri Russell.
1:10 - For some reason there's more lazy shots of the red carpert.
1:15 - Now there's a news like segment about the writer's strike
1:16 - Sandling has gone and in her place is crap film critic Mark Ecclestone who wasn't considered good enough even to front a Channel Five film show. He tries to look really smart talking about the writer's strike figures but in the end looks like a prat when he references the There Will be Blood director as Philip Thomas Anderson.
1:17 - Hilary Oliver complains that most of the good films only came out in the autumn and early this year. She doesn't seem to grasp the fact that studio's realease films that they think will do well at The Oscars closer to Oscar time.
1:21 - Ince pretends to know about how the academy works.
1:28 - There is a freaky moment in which Little Miss Sunshine is on Sky and then we flip back and there's an advert for Oscar Winner's Season with the exact same moment from LMS that we've just ssen.
1:30 - The sky panel discuss Jon Stewart's hosting abilities, Robin Inces seems to want Steve Martin back and then does a horrendous Billy Crystal impression, there's a Small VT of last year's Oscars accompanied by an orchestral version of that Take That song from Stardust.
1:31 - We are handed over to The Kodak Theatre, and I quickly yell to Steve who is in the loo that he'll miss the start but the opening is just loads of film moments on a big road.
(on the fact that this is the union between the writers and studios once again) "Welcome to the make-up sex"
"Its great to celebrate this years Psychopathic Killer Movies, No Country for Old Men, Sweeney Todd, There Will be Blood - Does this town need a hug? Thank God for teenage pregnancy."
"Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men comprised the bloodthirstiness of Hannibal Lecter with Dorothy Hammil's wedge cut."
"Away from Her is about a woman who forgets her husband - Hilary Clinton Called it the feel-good film of the year."
(On Atonement) "Never has one film captured the passion and raw sexuality of Yum Kippur."
"Even Norbit is nominated tonight which is excellent too often the academy overlooks films that aren't good."
"Michael Clayton is about 100 minutes long but because its about lawyers you can just round that up to two hours."
"Dennis Hopper is here, I'm just saying this so Dennis knows where he is."
"Diablo Cody was an exotic dancer and is now an oscar-nominated screenwriter - enjoy the pay cut."
"Oscar is now 80 so that makes him front-runner in for the Republican leadership campaign."
"Usually when you see a Woman or a Black Man as president an asterioid is about to hit the statue of liberty."
Stewart then jokes about how Barac Obama has overcome a lot because of his name his Barac Hussein Obama, and its just like the 1944 presidential campaign of Gaydolf Titler. A lot of people laugh but the camera pans to Marion Cotilard who doesn't look amused.
1:42 - We get to the first award of the evening as Jennifer Garner presents best Costume Design to Alexandra Byrne who worked on Elizabeth: The Golden Age her speech is nice and short and also good to note that the first award of the night goes to a Brit.
1:44 - The first of many reminiscences by former Oscar winners on there winning nights, the first is Babs Stresissand on her 'Hello Gorgeous' expetance speech.
1:46 - Robin Ince says he misses the cheesy nature of the old host and is told by Oliver and Ecclestone that cheesy is out he is upset and goes to phone Ricky Gervais.
1:47 - George Clooney has the most pointless job of the night to introduce Oscar's tribute to itself.
1:51 - The camera goes back to Jon Stewart who is watching Lawrence of Arabia on an I-Phone and flips it over to watch it in widescreen.
1:52 - Stewart introduces the funniest person he knows and she is being joined by Steve Carrell, Carrell comes out with Anne Hathaway and tells Jon that he never seases to amaze him over his constant need for attention. Carrell then starts on a spiel announcing the documentary feature nominees but is told by Hathaway that they're presenting animated feature he basically goes into The Office mode by wanting to throw up and feeling upset.
1:55 - I note that this is the first year since the animated category began that characters from the films aren't computer animated onto seats that might be because its quite hard to animated a French black and white Iranian girl onto a seat (only people who've seen Perspolis will get that reference). Brad Bird wins for Ratatouille and runs over and gets cut off by the orchestra.
1:57 - Katherine Heigl presents best Make-Up to La Vie en Rose, Norbit was robbed! The second Brit shares the award with a Frenchman.
2:00 - Jon Stewart goes to sing Alan Menken's Happy Working Song from Enchanted but then realises Amy Adams is there to sing it. Adams is at a loss as she is obviously meant to be singing to creatures or something but she has neither extras or a set and because of this the whole song seems a bit sill.
2:02 - The second of the Oscar reminiscences comes courtesy of the Zeta-Jones-Douglases.
2:07 - Jon Stewart says if you wonder what they do during the ad breaks they sit around and make catty remarks about what we're wearing. And then introduces The Rock saying that wrestling is also how Ellen Page got started if you turn your back on her she'll hit you with a folding chair, the camera however doesn't flick to Page maybe she was in the loo. The Rock then is quite entertaining in his opening spiel talking about how he though the face melting scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark was very real.
2:09 - The Golden Compass wins Best Visual Effects and two of the four men who collect the award are Brits so so far the Brits have four Oscars.
2:10 - Cate Blanchett presents the award for Art Direction and Production Design to two Spaniards who between them have been nominated 16 times and one once for The Aviator, so she must have met them before.
2:13 - Stewart takes the piss out of Cate Blanchett saying that she played the pitbull in No Country for Old Men and that he's being played by Blanchett right now.
2:14 - The first of many 'who's won this award before' montage introduces us to Best Supporting Actor, the disturbing thing is that the image they end on is of Snow Dogs and Boat Trip star Cuba Gooding Jr. winning his Oscar, I thought they were trying to erase that memory.
2:16 - Jennifer Hudson comes out to present and stumbles over the autocue.
2:19 - The second Spaniard win in a row as Javier Bardem rightly wins for No Country for Old Men the last segment of his speech is all in Spanish.
2:21 - But as we come back to the Sky studio, Hilary Oliver fancies herself a Spanish translator as she tells us what Bardem meant. 2:22 - Jon Stewart's translation is funnier - "He told his mother where the library was."
2:23 - Stewart then gives us a look at what Oscar would've been like if the writer's strike had continued. So they had Oscar's tribute to Binoculars and Periscopes - for some reason me and Steve find this hilarious. This is followed by Oscar's tribute to Bad Dreams.
2:24 - Keri Russell lied to us she didn't rap. But she did introduce the Gospel number from her film August Rush called Raise it Up. The main part of the song is sung by eleven year old Jemia Simone Nash. Unlike Amy Adams they have a set complete with church pews and extras.
2:28 - Stewart comes out and tells us you knew that song was good as Hal Holbrook was cabbage patching in the aisle. Holbrook blantantly didn't get that joke he looked like he was falling asleep now his category has been announced.
2:30 - Owen Wilson presents Short Live Action Film to The Mozart of Pickpockets (which I didn't have on my ballot) the French guy does struggle with his speech.
2:31 - Bee Movie bee shows a montage of bees in films, we've had enough comedy montages but at least this includes a clip from Rushmore. The Best Animated Short goes to Peter and The Wolf - More Brit wins!!!
2:38 - Alan Arkin obviously refused to do any spiel before announcing the winner of Supporting Actress. This is the biggest shock of the night (like Arkin's was last year) as Blanchett's Bob Dylan is passed over in favour of Tilda Swinton's cold-hearted lawyer in Michael Clayton. As well as being another Brit win, Swinton's speech is one of the best as she holds the Oscar and says happy Birthday man. She also quips about Clooney wearing the Batman and Robin suit during filming.
2:44 - Jessica Alba had obviously drawn the short straw and had to attend what looks like the most tedious thing alive - The Science and Technology Academy Awards where all the nerds attend they don't let them mix with the stars you know.
2:45 - Jon Stewart has been looking at the Alba and Blanchett both being pregnant and has his tally at two but as Jack Nicholson's there he's going to retally at the end of the night.
2:46 - The Broody and handsome duo (according to Stewart) of Josh 'No Country for Old Men' Brolin and James 'Shameless' McAvoy as they run through some quotes from adapted screenplays, Brolin apologises for doing a crap Nicholson impression and at this point I'm sure Nicholson is sitting next to Diablo Cody - Jack needs to be near a former stripper obviously.
2:48 - The Coen Brothers get the first award to go soley to Americans since Brad Bird. Ethan is slightly tongue-tied so Joel does all the talking.
2:49 - The president of the Oscars does a really bad video about how the Oscars votes are tallied which is incredibly boring. And aftewards even Jon Stewart takes the piss.
2:53 - Miley Cyrus introduces the second song from Enchanted called 'That's How You Know' sung by the brilliant and goregous Kristin Chenowoth (not sure if she was in the film), Amy Adams must be furious as there's plenty of props and a ton of extras in this song. 3:00 - Stewart notices that he left Nicole Kidman out of the list of pregnant ladies and then did and the baby goes to - Angelina Jolie. He quips that Jolie isn't there because its hard to get 17 babysitters on Oscar Night.
3:02 - Stewart introduces Dami Judi Dench and Halle Berry, Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill come out and do the funniest skit of the night which is obviously in place of a Will Ferrell/Jack Black song. Hill and Rogen argue about which should be Berry and which should be Dench. While this is going on they hand out the sound editing award to The Bourne Ultimatum.
3:05 - Hill and Rogen argue some more as The Bourne Ultimatum gets the Sound Mixing award as well, three American wins on the trot. I have to point out here that because The Bourne Ultimatum won British sound mixer Kevin O'Connol has been passed over for his 20th Oscar (this time for Transformers) there needs to be some kind of Myspace/Facebook group to get O'Connol the Oscar in 2009.
3:08 - The best actress montage features highlights such as deaf Marlee Matin and the stupidly dressed Cher collecting their awards.
3:10 - Forrest Whittaker goes on for too long before reading out the actress nominees.
3:16 - Back in the Sky studio where Hilary 'I'm a feminist don't you know' Oliver is going on about how Cotilard was a strong female presence in that film.
3:18 - Jon Stewart is caught playing WII tennis with Jemia Simone Nash from the August Rush song, she then runs off saying good game Mr. John (I just thought that sounded slightly racist)
3:19 - Colin Farrell almost cripples himself slipping up on something while approaching the song nominees podium (on the other side to the normal podium), Farrell just has to mention 'Once' once and people start to clap. Glen Hansard and Marketa Iglova then perform 'Falling Slowly' to an enraptured audience.
3:22 - Nicholson comes on and says I love the Movies before showing a montage of EVERY best picture winner from the last 80 years. I'm sure I saw this last year on You Tube.
3:28 - The Americans are winning the awards once again as Best Editing goes to The Bourne Ultimatum who get the Techinical award hat trick.
3:31 - I go and take the second pizza out of the oven as the special award goes to so called 'legendary' Robert Boyle who was the production designer on a lot of Hitchcock films like North by Northwest and The Birds as well as Private Benjamin, The Shootist, Dragnet, The Thomas Crown Affair and one of my favourite musicals - How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying. Sure enough he's done good work but at 98 years old he doesn't give the most empassioned speech funnily enough he gets the only standing ovation of the evening.
3:44 - Penelope Cruz presents Best Foreign Film to suprisingly another foreign winner this time the Austrians win the award for the excellent The Counterfeiters.
3:45 - Patrick Dempsey presents the final horribly sappy song from Enchanted by some out of tune dude dressed as a prince at a ball.
3:49 - Travolta almost slips up like Colin Farrell did as he presents the award for best song to the deserved winners Marketa Iglova and Glen Hansard from Once. Hansard gives an empassioned speech but Iglova is cut off before she can say anything. Stewart says of Hansard - he is so arrogant. 3:57 - After the break Stewart rightly brings Iglova back on as she thinks that this is a victory for all independent musicians and gets a good round of applause for this. 3:59 - Cameron Diaz can't say the word cinematography which is bad as she is presenting the award for Best Cinematography. This is another shocker as Roger Deakins who is nominated for No Country and for Jesse James is passed over in favour of Robert Elswit for There Will be Blood.
4:02 - Hilary Swank presents the In Memorium feature as predicted Heath Ledger and Ingmar Bergman feature heavily however one of the most notable emissions is Brad Renfro which is a travesty.
4:07 - Hilary Oliver back in the Sky Studio is sticking up for the women by saying the Diving Bell and The Buttefly should've one best cinematography.
4:08 - Amy Adams presents the best score award and with help from the Orchestra shows how poor films would've been off if John Williams hadn't composed the scores for Jaws and Close Encounters. Oh and the Rocky score was in here for good measure.
4:10 - I don't know if we can claim this one but Italian-Brit Dario Marionelli wins the award for his work on Atonement.
4:11 - Jon Stewart wonders why Tom Hanks is there as he hasn't been nominated tonight.
4:12 - Hanks passes us over to U.S. Soliders in Camp Victory in Baghdad because obviously its above him to announce the winners of Best Documentary Short. The fact that the soliders are doing this is an unintenionally hilarious moment for Steve. Freeheld - a film about a lesbian cop whose dying wins the award I'm annoyed as I didn't have this down on my ballot. 4:17 - Taxi to the Dark Side wins Best Documentary Feature, a film about torture I didn't have this down on my ballot. Usually I don't mind lesbians and torture but tonight they've done me a disservice.
4:19 - What I hope is the last of these silly 'I won an Oscar' memories by Elton John comes on.
4:23 - More money goes in John Williams pocket us the 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' theme tune introduces Harrison Ford who seems to have lost it as he says -Movies are made of Ideas, and pictures and words but this was about orignal screenplay.
4:25 - Nice moment as Diablo Cody comes towards the stage after winning the screenplay award she high fives Ellen Page.
4:29 - The Best Actor montage now appears
4:31 - Helen Mirrem seems to have swallowed a thesaurus as she spouts a load of adjectives about the best actor nominees.
4:40 - The last of these tedious montages on directors starts with a funny two-hander between the late great Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon.
4:42 - Marty Scorsese presents the second award of the night to The Coen Brothers
4:45 - For the second time in two years the winners of the Best Picture award are in the wings when there film is announced. No Country for Old Men rightly scoops the prize.
4:48 - Stewart thanks us for our time.
4:51 - More gabbing as the panel from hell slag off There Will be Blood and Juno, and applaud the very odd ending of No Country for Old Men. 4:59 - Bloody hell there's a break and more talking, Farrell slipping up was Ecclestone's fave moment, while Ince still wants Steve Martin to present (or Ricky Gervais) and the ladies loved Cottilard's acceptance speech.
5:05 - Thank God that's over a montage of the night is shown with Kylie's WOW! played over the top it should be 'I'm tired and I want to go to bed'
There wasn't very many moments personally I preferred Swinton's speech to Cotillard's and of course Marketa Iglova. Jon Stewart playing the WII was good but I go
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